So the City of Brotherly Love decided to summon me for jury duty, lest I get fined for contempt of court.

But how can I get out of it?

Well, if I don’t know how to speak English, I’m exempted (¿Puede Ud. leer, escribir y entender ingles?)

If I’m not a resident of Philadelphia I’m exempted. I’m registered to vote in Philly, but under Pa. law, your voter registration is not the sole determinant of your legal domicile. For insurance and tax purposes, I’m a resident of Delaware County.
Perhaps the fact that I’m a full-time college student or my present occupation as a reporter could get me off the hook?

Here’s a novel idea I could put in the remarks section:

“I’m an advocate of jury nullification.”