The End of Times
Tuesday, March 13th, 2007How do I know it is the end of the world? The Colorado legislature is hard at work for the taxpayer, they are high on John Denver.
Some choice quotes:
The halls of the Colorado Capitol building rang with campfire tunes Monday as both houses of the Legislature heard and passed a joint resolution making John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High” an official state song alongside “Where the Columbines Grow.”
Hagedorn dismissed the idea that lyrics in the song describing a “high” refer to or encourage drug use, suggesting instead that they refer to the elation one feels while enjoying spectacular places.
“We are high on Colorado,” primary House sponsor Nancy Todd of Aurora agreed.
High on Colorado? God save us all.
A choir singing “Kumbaya” kicked off legislative proceedings and was followed in both houses with versions of Denver’s beloved “Rocky Mountain High” after the joint resolution passed.
Kumbaya? This was plagarized from The Onion, had to be.
“If I had any hair, I’d part it in the middle and say ‘far out,’” Sen. Steve Ward said in an address to the Senate floor.
Warning: Politician being very lame! Stay back 500ft!
Despite some lawmakers’ insistence that the song’s use of the word “high” does not necessarily refer to drugs, others on the House floor snickered when speakers referred to the measure as “the joint resolution.”
Heh. The joint resolution, [insert Bevis and Butthead laugh here].
The good news in all of this of course is that Colorado has been touched by God and there are no serious problems or issues of any kind left for lawmakers to deal with in this modern day Utopia. Seriously though, I hate the government.

