Jump on in, folks…

I actually had to start drinking at about 9:30 when Michael McDonald started butchering “America the Beautiful”. Never in my life have I more wanted Simon Cowell to come out and say: “You just made me stick a sharpened pencil in my eardrums. Please jump into a volcano.”

10:04- So your mom got you up early and made you do your homework, huh? If you had your way, you’d get some government program to do that.

10:09- So Obama “believed strongly in everything he brought to the Illinois Senate floor”. Guess that means he strongly believes in killing viable babies outside the womb, huh? Glad we’ve settled that.

10:11- What, no chorus of Angels? I at least expected him to come out on a chariot.

10:15- Wouldn’t it have been hilarious if he had said, “Y’know, no thanks. Hillary can have it.”

10:20- That’s right. Katrina was GWB’s fault. He and Dick Cheney cooked it up in the Pentagon and used a giant fan to blow it right into New Orleans.

10:21- “8 is enough!” I smell a new lame bumper sticker slogan.

10:24- Obama is whining about being called a “whiner”. Hope you got your Pinot Grigio handy.

10:25- ‘Cuz he was JOKING about $5 million/year being rich, you libtard. And YOU and Michelle make about $5 million/year, jerk.

10:28- He went to the most prestigious private school in Hawaii… just so ya know.

10:31- “Businesses have an obligation to create jobs”. Really? Thanks for clearing that up for me.

10:32- I’m a small business owner and I am scared sh-tless of Barack Obama’s tax plans… just so ya know.

10:33- “We will end our dependence on oil from the Middle East”. Without drilling or nukes, huh? He must be looking into government subsidized synthetic fairy dust. And the best way to build fuel-efficient vehicles here, and make them affordable for us, is to LOWER TAXES. And yet, even as I type this, he’s proposing a billion dollar program.

10:39- He just mentioned (briefly) making government smaller by cutting inefficient bureaucracies. He gave no specifics and he requested, oh… does anyone remember how many million dollars of earmarks last session? John McCain, of course, requested none.

10:41- You opposed the Iraq War ”just days after 9/11″. Wow, do you have a crystal ball?

10:44- He’s accusing George W. Bush, who liberated Iraq, of doing nothing more than “talking tough” to our enemies. All while he would have tea and crumpets with dictators. Are you freakin’ kidding me?

10:47- “I know you love this country”. I’d bet my next paycheck that at least 20% of that audience hates America. And that Obama, while he may say he loves America, hates the basic principles of this country.

10:50- “When you don’t have a record to run on, you make your opponent someone to run from”. Did he just honest-to-God say that John McCain doesn’t have a record and he does???

10:55- He’s talking about the “American Promise”. I don’t know about you, but my American Promise doesn’t exist in some committee room in Washington, DC. Now he’s talking about individual achievements. Notice that none of those examples of “The American Promise” involved a government program. Pioneers, job creation, etc. Nope, no government.

10:57- Aaaaaand… done. Damn, I’m not drunk yet.

Alright, what did you think? I’m biased (no duh), but I wasn’t all that impressed. He spoke loudly and he spoke well, but he didn’t tell us anything. Honestly, what did he say??? What is his plan? How is he different and new and “changeful”? That was a nice rah-rah speech, but I doubt it moved a lot of people in middle America.

11:02- For a party that talks greenie-weanie all the time, they sure do have a lot of confetti. That stuff had better be biodegradable. And is that the theme to Saving Private Ryan in the background? WTF??? Just get off the stage, jackass.

It’s sounding like Timmy………

Tonight, as we sit and bask in the sheer wonder that is The One, and anticipate his ascension into the heavens once his speech concludes, I will be here in front of my computer screen live-blogging it for you. I invite the other authors to jump in and do likewise.

Normally, I’d be unable to stomach doing this, so I’ve developed a way to not only watch the whole speech, but to live-blog it in an entertaining fashion- The Barack Obama Drinking Game! For those who want to play along at home, here are the rules:

In keeping with Obama’s snobbish style, your beer should be imported high-quality stuff. You’ll need that beer (a lot), something with which you can take shots (I prefer Vodka), and the snootiest wine (whine) you can find.

You take a shot any time:
-he says “hope”, “change”, or “yes we can”
-the camera focuses on Michelle Obama learning to be proud of her country
-he attacks John McCain/Pres. Bush/VP Cheney/SavetheGOP.com
-he says something negative about Iraq while our soldiers are still fighting (and winning) over there.
-he compares himself to John F. Kennedy

You chug the beer whenever:
-the crowd chants “Obama! Obama!”
-he proposes a government program
-he attacks those evil rich people
-he talks about his version of the “American Dream”, which of course involves the government doing something that you should do for yourself.

You take a sip of wine (whine) anytime:
-He whines about something (ie. Big mean Republicans are attacking me; Bush hurts poor people; McCain is just another 4 more years of failed policies, etc.)

Got it? Good. Run out and get your slag before the ascension starts at 10pm EST. And don’t be havin’ to drive anywhere afterwards.

H/T- Michelle Malkin, who thankfully escaped unscathed from the unshaven and soap-fearing moonbat hordes.

Club for Growth Blog: “Pat will probably kill me for posting this, but…”

This speech eviscerated Senator Kerry and the anti-Bush zealotry of the Democratic party.

It’s being reported that McCain has decided on his running mate and that individual will be notified some time today.  Still no word as to who it is, but I imagine we’ll know by the end of the day or early tomorrow.

So it’s come to this…

The leaders of Savethe GOP.com have momentarily taken leave of their senses and allowed me, Press 7 for Celtic, to begin posting. Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t last long.

A little about myself, for the morbidly curious:

I’m originally from Western NY. I went to grad school at George Washington University, where I met a few of the SavetheGOP founders. They started the site, and I’ve enjoyed reading it for the last 3 years and making the occasional smartass comment for last year-and-a-half.

In the last 7 years I’ve lived in NY, D.C., VA., WA., FL., and now in N.C., where I hope to remain. I am a professional political consultant and have worked on all sorts of races all over the country. I also blog over at Sam’s “Carolina Politics Online” site.

I will not post under my real name. I’d like to, but I hope to run for office some day. As SavetheGOP founder and GW classmate Mark Harris found out 2 years ago, postings on this site can be taken out of context and you can be made to look like some sort of loony wackadoo. Although in my case, that wouldn’t be too hard to pull off. Also, as someone who literally gets paid to be a Republican, I can’t publicly level much-needed criticism again my party (and potential clients) without potentially hurting my business. Sorry.

Finally, for those interested in the weird moniker, I came up with “Press 7 for Celtic” during McCain’s amnesty push. Responding to our sans balls immigration policy, I posited that if my great-grandparents had come to America and encountered the same sort of polyglot boarding house mentality we see today, they never would have had to learn English. Thus, when picking up the phone, we’d get to hear: “Press 1 for English, Dos por Espanol, Tres pour Francais…” all the way to “7 for Celtic” and presumably “9 for Esperanto”.

Anyways, thanks to the authors for letting me post, and thanks to all of you for reading.

Tonight, The Obamessiah will give his acceptance speech in The Temple of Zeu…, er, I mean, Invesco Field.

Although it’s kinda hard to tell the difference…

Personally, I’m a little miffed. The Obama campaign has blatantly stolen my idea of framing oneself in an ancient temple to look way cooler than one actually is. Case in point…

And MY picture was taken in 2005. The Obamessiah owes me royalties.

Nice to see Bob Novak’s feeling well enough to write the occasional column:

Reports of strong support within John McCain’s presidential campaign for Independent Democratic Sen. Joseph Lieberman as the Republican candidate for vice president are not a fairy tale. Influential McCain backers, plus McCain himself, would pick the pro-choice liberal from Connecticut if they thought they could get away with it.

But they can’t get away with it — and this has been made clear to McCain by none other than Joe Lieberman himself.

Lieberman surely doesn’t know that much about Republican politics, but he has close Republican friends. One of them prevailed on Lieberman to tell McCain that a McCain-Lieberman ticket would be a disaster for all concerned, and especially for the GOP.

I don’t have a problem with Lieberman, but I know that many of you do. If the first rule of “Veep-ology” is to do no harm, then Lieberman is a bad pick. He might bring in independents, but he’d alienate too much of the base.